The diary post Time for some brazen soul-baring. Today I started back at college, after last week spent in bed with a bad back. Not being in college made me extremely depressed - I'd been really looking forward to the new term for several reasons:

1. A fairly dismal Christmas in which I had a bad back (the first installment of the same ailment), my mum had puke-poop-moan disease, my bedroom was next to the toilet, my dad seemed fairly downbeat largely because (here's the piece de resistance of dismalness) my mum is fairly psycho and I'd forgotten how bad she can be.
2. My work colleagues are the perfection of my worst nightmares in human form. I only work with two full timers, one is a strict born again Christian, the other - my boss - a crazed, bombastic Glaswegian man who loves and hates me in equal measure. I could write several posts on his pyche, so I'll spare you for now. Suffice it to say, it has seemed like my job is rather precarious because the boss threatened to extend my probation, but could only give the reason that I didn't really believe in capitalism. This job being a two-day a week sales assistant position. Hmm.
3. John, my sweetheart without reservation, is struggling very hard through his final year at uni, and I hate not being able to help him having been through it all myself.
   

That's really the gist of it - I need to feel like my life has something to drive towards, and everything above has created a strong sense of inertia. But now I'm back! And I loved it, despite my other more minor moans that there aren't really any kindred spirits on my course. They are still good, friendly people and the work is so great - I spent most of the day drawing a spiral staircase in 3D. Highly fulfilling, somehow. My lethargy has really lifted, and I feel like I can focus on this thing that is really what I want to be doing. I think. Well...save the dithering for later...  ¶ 19:08