Let's get political While in a recent post I came over all moral and asked for some kindness, today I feel the need to be political. There are quite a few things that make me want to do it. The most personal of those was today, after seeing the film with John and Paul. They went to the toilet and I waited in the foyer. Then a guy came out of the toilet and joined his waiting girlfriend. As they walked away I heard him say to her, "there were a couple of poofs in there. I thought I was going to get bummed", at which her girlfriend laughed. They were soon too far away for me to do or say anything, and I was left feeling really low. When John and Paul came back, I kept it to myself, not wanting to dampen their mood. But I am reproducing it here because I want to publicise the fact that these little signs of homophobia really go on all the time, and I am truly fed up with them. Homophobia is as bad as racism, but it is considered more acceptable for several reasons:

1. Deep down, most people still consider homosexuality unnatural, despite outward tolerance. This view is given continued legitimacy by the right-wing press and most mainstream religion. It makes it very easy for people to ridicule homosexuality, and suggest that gay relationships aren't "proper" relaitonships
2. Gay men are perceived as frivilous, silly and camp - or at the very least, soft. This stereotype has in recent times been incredibly well represented, in Graham Norton, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, Coronation Street and so on. Ridiculing and insulting people who are implicitly considered ridiculous is considered to be harmless.
3. There is still an enormous amount of shame surrounding being gay, and sexuality in general. From school onwards, we learn that being gay is shameful, dirty and not how real girls and boys behave. Many people have a sense of sneering distaste towards gay people because of this. The whole idea of "Gay Pride" exists as a response to this.
   
4. Somehow, despite being considered silly and soft, straight men still feel threatened by gay men, hence the guy at the cinema worrying about being "bummed". Because being gay is not what real men and women do, gay men and women aren't real men and women. This makes them an unknown quantity, and therefore threatening.

Well, I have to tell you something, even if you've heard it all before. Any relationship that involves real emotions is a real relationship, regardless of the sex of the people in it. Gay men and women are as masculine or feminine as they like, there's no norm - no-one can really say what's natural for a man's or a woman's behaviour. Sexuality is a joy and nothing to be ashamed of. I can be camp and I can be sensitive, but I am serious about what I love. Love does not threaten or harm anyone - it heals and encourages growth.

We all need to grow up a bit about sex, gender and sexuality. And I ask any of you straight readers to consider us gay people as fellow humans, brothers and sisters, and worthy of your solidarity and support - as white people were with black people in the civil rights movement. There's no difference. People are suffering because of hatred, and they need kindness.
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